I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize