I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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