Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He felt like a one man threesome
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
