At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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