dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We had to coat check the pizza.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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