Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize