So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
