It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize