if i died would you start the facebook group?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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