David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
