I seem to have left my pride at pride
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
