why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
