Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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