we have officially lost it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
