Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
