Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
