i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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