And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
