At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
