just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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