Sry I called you an 8
It's Friday. Sex?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize