Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
