This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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