therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
