I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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