it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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