FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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