so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
