So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
