Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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