went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
