Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
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