His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize