just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
