so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
