awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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