margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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