"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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