how can u be prego again
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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