so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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