Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
