one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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