If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
