she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so that wasnt chicken after all
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize