im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
