So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize