Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
