I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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