there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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