I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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