I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
