He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Sober January is a disaster.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
