It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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