Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
