so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
