Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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