I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
