Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think my vagina is haunted
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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