we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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