She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
