in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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